Scrubbing your Finances and Using A Spreadsheet

Hello Everyone!

In conjunction with some of the tools I talked about in our financial disciplines post, I wanted to offer two of the greatest financial strategies I’ve tried. They are so good they needed their own post: scrubbing your finances and the budgeting spreadsheet.

When scrubbing your finances, you simply take a detailed look at you bank statements and spending habits over the last 90 days to get an average of how much you spend on each category of your finances. When using a spreadsheet for your budget, you are able to have a real time view of the discrepancies between what you plan and what you spend. This pushes discipline to a new level, because you are checking and balancing yourself.

In the video, I speak on how to utilize each of these tools for the most effective results in your financial wellness journey. Similarly, I give a thorough talk through on how to set up these processes. You can follow along by downloading the spreadsheet using the link below.

Discipline in your Financial Wellness

Once you’ve determined a good budget for you, by which you are able to pay yourself, pay God, and cover all of your necessary expenses, most people go astray for lack of discipline. It’s easy to put a budget on paper, but to work the plan requires much discipline. Especially when you’re associating with those who are in different financial brackets or lack financial discipline themselves.

Getting right to the point, here are a few basic ways to exercise discipline in your finances.

1. Use the envelope method. This requires getting physical cash from the bank every month and dividing budgeted amounts into envelopes based on need. You replace the money spent with the receipt of the purchase made. Once the money in the envelop is gone, you have to wait until the following month for whatever that budget item is. So for example, if I treat myself to a hibachi steakhouse meal the first week of my budget, and I can only eat out for $50/ mo. With sushi and drinks, my $50 is gone in one sitting. So I won’t be able to go out to eat until the next month. 

2. Cut up your credit cards. Don’t depend on credit cards for your emergency expenditures.  This will require some fore planning and some skill, but this will get you out of the habit of spending your next month’s money before it hits your account. 

   If you have discipline with your credit card spending, ensure that you pay off ALL of your balance when you use it by the 21st day of the following month (this ensures you don’t pay interest). 

3. When shopping, wait for purchases, write a list, and stick to it. If you are instinctively a saver, you may need discipline in spending. I am like a dam, once I’m open for spending, it’s hard for me to not overspend because I don’t shop often. In this way, always go into shopping with two skills: the waiting period, by which you deliberate ifs it is necessary for you to buy whatever item you’re willing to buy; and a strict itemized budget, by which you detail and wait on the shopping agenda. Don’t pick up any more or any less of what’s not on the list. 

4. Look at sales as the money you spend. Most people look at sales as the money they are saving. This impulses them to buy more or feel accomplished. Rather, when paying in cash, and ultimately training your thought process, you look at money as cash leaving your account/pocket. This will impulse you to get only what you need. 

5. Scrub your finances. Take a monthly itemized look at your bank account. Account for where the most of your money is spent, things you didn’t plan for, and where you can improve on wasteful spending. Even once you have a budget and have been working it for a while, a day to day view of your spending habits helps to refine the budget. If you keep receipts, you can go through this them. If you are on your banking website, a lot of banks will do the break out for you. 

6. Lastly, be realistic. Discipline is about changing your lifestyle habits not meeting a goal. Be honest with yourself and your expectations. Don’t expect to not eat out once and save $1000. It’s a consistent culmination of daily choices that leads to financial freedom. 

Side Hustle Ideas for the Working Adult to Maximize your Income Without Consuming your Time

As I mentioned in the budgeting post, it is known that the average millionaire has 7 streams of income. The wealthy in America are in a small percentage for which their expenses do not have to equal their income to afford basic life necessities. As a solution to our need for basic necessities, we can adopt some of the multiple-income-stream principles in order to not only meet our need, but to acquire income for a legacy to follow.

In 2019, I was finally able to secure 7 streams of income, after years of building. With these 7 streams of income, I am able to pay my bills and afford luxury experiences without debt. From my experiences and those of people close to me, I propose the following options for additional streams of income for the average working adult with a 9-5. These options can maximize your income while still giving you time for yourself at night. Also, I tried to pull from jobs that aren't found in YouTube side hustle videos.

Please Note: I am just giving ideas. I am no expert. Each of these suggestions require your own research.

1. The first thing, monetize something you already do. This idea goes hand and hand with the basis of Uber and Lyft, but take it a step further. If you already cook, sell a few plates. If you go to the laundry mat, charge to wash a neighbors load. If you have to help your child with homework, tutor a few of their classmates as well. Contingent upon your leasing/housing options, rent out a room. This is small scale, but adds big value for little to no effort, because these are things you already do.

2. Monetize a skill you have. This is along the same lines as the above idea, but may require some set up. If you’ve recently graduated from college, tutoring face-to-face and/or online are both lucrative commodities that require you to access old materials and help someone else. It requires some set up, and possibly a business license (depending on your scale), but makes at least $20/hour (on the low end). Along the same lines, start a lawn care business. Start a hair braiding business (depending on the state, no license required). Monetize your social media (if you have a large following already). Start a company that grocery shops for the elderly. Join a company that offers companionship for the elderly. Offer music lessons. Play music for events. House sit. Become a nanny. Detail cars. Teach a language. Write and scrub resumes. Create a smart phone app. Give financial advice. Teach dance lessons. Write a book. Paint personal portraits. Sell art. Become a consultant. Do people’s taxes; etc. 

3. Start a Company. Again, this goes off of number 2, but expands the thinking and the scale. You can start a blog. Start an Etsy company. Depending on your access to a commercial kitchen, start a meal prep company. Start a bakery (depending on your state guidelines you may be able to start out of your home). If you have the equipment, start a photography business. Start a cleaning/decluttering company. Become a personal chef, etc. The sky is the limit. 

4. Work for established flexible companies and/or pick up a second job. These are the typical ones: online teaching, door dash, goods delivery, virtual assistant, waiting tables, customer service representative, security guard, etc. Pick up another job you already do, but for another company: ex. If you’re a nurse, pick up a shift somewhere else. 

5. Get back to the basics: babysit, dog sit, dog walk, pick up animal waste, etc.  

Also, if you add a little capital behind a side hustle, you can start product/clothing lines; get certifications to allow you to do cybersecurity work, IT work, website engineering, fitness instruction; bartend; become a massage therapist or a nutritionist.

These are some excellent ideas for increasing your income to balance your budget, but discipline in budgeting is what yields the lasting results. In tomorrow’s post, I’ll be sharing some systems I put in place to help with this discipline in budgeting.

Part Time Jobs for College Students: How to Hustle the System and Earn the Degree?

As we discussed in the budgeting blog post, to maximize your budget you need to minimize your expenses and maximize you income. Going into college, I knew that I would not be able to afford some of the basic expenses (room and board, meal plan, spring break, and upkeep) without loans, my parent’s help, or a job. Even in looking into jobs, I wanted to ensure that I got the biggest bang for my time, as in college, TIME IS MONEY. Taking this into account, some of the greatest advice was from my 9th grade biology teacher. She stated, “In college, get you a job that allows you to do your homework on the clock.” I took this a bit to the extreme. At one point, I had three jobs while in school full time. While two of my three jobs allowed me to work on the clock, I would caution to work smarter and not harder. Try first, to get paid to simply attend class. Then, try to find a job that pays you to do homework on the clock. And lastly, try jobs that take little work for a larger pay out with little to no experience. Here are a few options I have tried and/or people close to me have tried.

Note: I am just giving ideas. I am no expert. Each of these suggestions require your own research.

1. Assistantships:

Assistantships are programs that pay for your schooling as well as giving you a small stipend in exchange for work through your university or participating corporations. This process will often put a living expense stipend in your pocket. 

2.  Scholarships:

I am in a unique position for which my tuition is paid twice: once by my program’s assistantship and again by an outside scholarship. This situation returns my tuition in a refund check every semester, which offsets my living costs. Even if to just breakeven, you can use scholarships to offset student loan costs, or even add additional income for books, fees, and recreation. 

3. Internships:

There are some companies that offer paid internships (specifically during the summer).  These opportunities act as a two for one special: you get experience and money. It often requires a “good” grade point averages and transportation; however, with a supportive cover letter and references, opportunities are open to most. 

4. On campus job:

I worked in the tutoring center in college as a calculus and chemistry tutor. It was one of the highest paying positions for students on campus, and offered me both help in my courses and guaranteed time to study. One of the perks to on campus jobs is that they are typically flexible and accepting of complex class schedules. You can also network with a diverse community of peers you wouldn’t typically have access to. Depending on your school and need base, on campus jobs may or may not be a good option for you. Check your local college listings. 

5. Virtual Assistantship:

Virtual assistants are the new craze. They make excellent pay for little to no experience, as most of it is clerical work. If you are in college, 9 times out of 10 you have the skills necessary to do the job. The main factor here is to be both diligent and meticulous because the value is in the details. 

6. Bonus:

Sell your notes! This is a HUGE commodity at larger universities and can pan out even better than tutoring if you set up a time stamped weblink that prevents people from sharing the notes. 

I will be doing a separate college hack video with additional ways to cover tuition and put money in your pocket. Also, many of these positions are adaptable to the climate for which we may not be going back to campus. While many budgets aren’t finalized for the coming semesters, independent (not school based) assistantships and scholarships are still open and available. Depending on your school, many of the “on campus” jobs are moving online, with particular services in customer service and IT/web based help. You can usually find these in your school’s database. Lastly, while it’s not enough to simply make the money and work the budget, tomorrow I will give some solutions on how I deal with lack of discipline in my finances.

My Financial Journey and the Best Way to Budget your Money: Minimize your Expenses

The Lord has afforded me many financial blessings over the years, but even with his grace, stewardship is required. As a follow up to yesterday’s blog post, I share a bit of my testimony and discuss the balance of minimizing expenses to optimize your budget. I also detail my number one secret to financial “prosperity” (hint, you can hear about it at the 13 min mark).  As the video explains, tomorrow, I will be discussing some ideas for maximizing your income with minimal time. Until then, I hope this video is encouraging!

1:23 My testimony

9:38 Minimize your budget expenses 

13:00 The giving factor!

Money Mindset Blog Post: http://www.kandidkayla.com/blog/2020/5/23/changing-your-mindset-about-money

How to Build a budget Blog Post: http://www.kandidkayla.com/blog/2020/5/26/basic-money-guidance

IG: http://www.instagram.com/kandidkayla.co

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kandidkayla/

Basic Money Guidance

In an ideal world we’d buy everything with the leaves on the trees, but since we can’t, we must budget. A basic budget is simply allocating resources to cover your expenses. This process requires determining necessities, saving for unexpected emergencies, and minimizing expenses. 

For the purposes of generalizing, I’m going to base the following example off of someone who is solely responsible for themselves. You can scale this budget up or down to fit your personal needs. I will show how to amend the budget towards the end. 

The first part of the budget is the income. This is important because this will determine your expenses. While there are many different theories on income to expense ratio(30/20/50, 70/20/10, Dave Ramsey’s budget ratio etc.), adapting what is right for you boils down to goals. Idealistically you want to initially save $1000 for your emergency fund.  Long term, you should save 6 months of living expenses. Keep that in mind. 

For our example, we’re going to use Jo. Jo is established, but doesn’t have a budget. Jo is a lab tech making about $20/hour or about $44K/year (the average salary in America). After state and federal taxes as a single filer with no tax credits, Jo’s monthly take home pay is $3,253.59.

Basic necessities include savings, giving, housing, food, utility, and insurance costs. Depending on your city, luxury, climate, etc., you will have transportation and recreation costs as well. (I will put those in for a complete comparison.) I will also include student loan payments (average $80K), as debt repayment is common in today’s climate. 

Assuming Jo lives in Idaho (where the median household income is closest to that of the country’s median and the value of the dollar is slightly more (8%) higher than that of the national average), the average rent/housing cost is about $1250 (rounding up). Utility cost (HVAC, gas, electricity, and water) is averaged at $350/mo. Car insurance is about $48/mo (note: this is in Idaho, the national average is about $74/mo). Health insurance is about $231/mo. Renter’s insurance is about $13/mo. Life insurance is about $68/mo. The average car payment is about $391/mo. The average gas consumption for your vehicle is $386/mo. The average food cost is $244/mo. We’re going to cap recreation costs at $100/mo. The debt repayment for the student loan with respect to his income is $485.81/mo. I leave savings and giving for last, because these will fluctuate based on the margins. 

If you look at the chart, Jo’s expenses are well over 100%, per the average prices of all basic expenses within the country. You cannot breakeven. If this persists you will rob Peter to pay Paul, yet consistently digging deeper into debt.  The budget proposed is assuming there are no rainy days. What happens when your car breaks down? Or a recession hits or COVID-19?

This is why you have to budget. How to augment the budget for success? Get your expenses down and/or increase your income. 

Going through every expense, and scrubbing the budget, the first expense is a tithe. This is a necessity. It is the key to eternal success because it is a basic act of obedience. 

The next expense for Jo would be housing. For me, I don’t do well with roommates that aren’t family, so when I was first out on my own, I knew this was going to be my bulk expense. I lived within my means, but I definitely didn’t stay within the recommended 25% of my income. I had little to no other expenses though, so understand that whatever you choose to be of the upmost importance, you need to build the rest of your budget around this expense. For Jo, we’re going to lower the housing cost to include at least one roommate, so slashing both the rent and utilities costs in half. 

Next, Jo’s student loan payments are critical to financial freedom, so for the time being this value will go unchanged. 

Rather than having a car payment, Jo drives an older car that cost $5000. This brings down the car payment to $111/mo. (This is the payment cost for an auto loan for a $5000 car with $0 down for 48 mo. I don’t recommend this! The interest associated is ridiculous, but Jo is between a rock and a hard place). Jo will choose also to commute or take public transit to work cutting the monthly gas contribution to $200/mo. 

Jo also only eats out one meal a week and meal preps at home for the rest of the week. This brings food costs down to about $200/mo (assuming Jo eats a lot of fresh produce). (If Jo eats more processed foods, this cost will go down drastically. Even opting for more frozen produce will cut this cost.)

There’s very little to be done about the costs of insurances in America. There is much to be said, but to side on the error of peace, these values will stay the same within the budget. Now, even with the current differences in the budget, Jo now has about 20% of the budget left to work with to put into both savings and giving. Depending upon your debt, financial goals, and reasons for saving, you will need to augment the budget more or less.  

You can increase your food costs, if that’s important to you, at the expense of your recreation cost. You can save more by eliminating your recreation cost all together (there are plenty of free things to do). You can eliminate your transportation costs or drastically minimize if you work from home, at the expense of better wifi costs (assuming wifi is built into utilities costs). (Also note, we have neglected Jo having a cell phone and associated bills. Jo’s best bet is probably prepaid at this point). You can decrease your housing expenses drastically if you acquire more roommates or move in with family. If you are in college, you can eliminate and/or drastically decrease the student loan payments based on the amount of scholarships you receive (I will do a separate post on college cost hacks). 

Understand if you are not breaking even or only breaking even on your budget, you need to “live like no one else , so later you can live and give like no one else” (in the words of Dave Ramsey). So eliminating nonessential wants is crucial. This goes back to the changing of the mindset. Looking at money as a tool, if you cannot breakeven for your necessities, you should not acquire expensive habits like nail care, luxury hair care, name brand clothing, and expensive cars, until you have that gap in your budget percentages (again, see Dave Ramsey Budget Percentages). Viewing these unnecessary expenses as necessities will leave you in a poverty mindset. 

Now that we have about 20% of Jo’s money freed up, I recommend dividing the values into savings and giving. Savings for the purpose of emergencies should total about 6 months of living expenses. In Jo’s case, about $15500. According to the Dave Ramsey budget percentage, you want to save about 10% of your income and give about 10% of your income. If you count tithing for giving, you are good to go. I often go beyond my tithe by giving 10% to other sources: homeless help, non-profit organizations, or being a blessing to others (paying for the dinner bill or as I feel led to do so). While this is a luxury, I never want my obedience to have a cap to it, so I include additional giving as another necessary budgeted expense. Jo will give 5% to additional giving. Assuming Jo has goals to not have a roommate, to buy a nicer car, to own property, to start investments, etc., Jo will save 15% of his salary, which is more than the recommended 10%. This will allow Jo to reach his 6 months of savings within 2 years, contingent upon budget consistency and no emergencies. 

The second way to offset your budget is by increasing your income. Researchers have pinpointed that millionaires have 7 streams of income. With the current financial climate in the country, as evidence of our discussion with Jo, to achieve generational wealth and plan for the future, multiple streams of income are necessary. Tomorrow, I will speak on how to form different streams of income for yourself with minimal time and effort. More specifically, some side hustle ideas with little to no start up capital needed.  

Changing your Mindset about Money!

Being wealthy is not a sin, but being greedy is. I work hard to do what I must as unto the Lord, not for the money (Colossians 3:23-24). While the money is nice, my obedience in every avenue concerning money is of the upmost importance (Luke 14:13–14). 

A quick overview of my upbringing and why this is such passionate topic for me. I am a 24 year old graduate student who happens to only have one source of debt: a home mortgage. I have no student loans, no car loans, no credit card debt, and no medical debt. I’ve owned my own home for almost two years and I make an honest living with seven streams of income, of which most are nonconventional. I don’t make money for blogging or social media yet, but still work on my side hustles to generate additional income. I would also like to note that I am a single woman with no children from a military family, for which many of my opportunities have been afforded. Nonetheless, the basis of my current “prosperity” is Jesus’ faithfulness.

The teaching behind money in life is so perverted. Both in and out of the church, there are always people pushing get rich schemes and financial prosperity. The Word says that the Lord’s desire is for us to lack for nothing (James 1:4; Deut. 2:7). He will give us everything that we need (Mat. 6:26) and desire (Ps. 37:4), contingent upon our submission (James 4:7), obedience (Deut. 28:47-48), and delight in Him. Understanding this, God can choose to make you wealthy. But that’s not your concern. People quote 1 Timothy 6:10, so often that it’s fairly well known (“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”). But verses 4 and 5 hit different in this climate. He warns of those “…who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.” 

Let’s start here first, God wants your heart for richer or poorer (Matthew 19:16-30), in sickness and in health (whole book of Job), for death won’t do you apart (John 3:16). So loving God and pursuing his will for you in obedience will not guarantee your wealth, but it will guarantee you have what you need. 

With that aside, money is simply a tool he has given us to fulfill our mission. For this fulfillment, he requires our obedience. Getting the church basics out the way: 1. I do believe in tithing, but of the heart. The 10% is not the issue. (10% is a baseline.) It’s of the heart and your willingness to be obedient. 2. I don’t believe tithes have to be paid to a church. The Lord wants your obedience, so if your tithes are going to another ministry or an organization for which he tells you to give it, go for it. (NOTE: ONLY IF HE TELLS YOU TO GIVE ELSEWHERE!) Again, the purpose is your obedience. 3. I do believe in stewardship of money and time alike, not manifestation or attraction. (Side notes, 1. Manifestation/attraction limits God to our purview. 2. My time is of much more value than my money, but those are for another discussion.) While I’ll discuss greater this week, I do believe in the Biblical principles of storing up a savings, building an inheritance (generational wealth), and being a blessing (not just for it to be given back to you, but from the extension of your willing heart).

Now, the meat of it all: how to change your mindset about money? See it for a tool. Understand its value. And learn about managing it with wisdom. 

• Money is a tool. It is currency. It can be used in exchange for necessities or wants. Either way, it is a tool to curate something: the meeting of a need, the generation of a feeling, the building of an experience, etc. Once you stop looking at it to be your answer to loneliness, poverty (which is a mindset), struggle, or bondage, you will see your reality for what it is and address internal issues accordingly and financial issues accordingly. 

• Understand its value. The only purpose for money is to exchange, for which we used to barter. You were once able to increase or decrease the value of a glass of milk with respect to a glass of water. Now, money does the comparison for us. For example, a kid finds a dollar on the ground. That kid can trade that one dollar for 10 pennies or 5 quarters. In the child’s mind, 10 coins is more than the one dollar or 5 coins, but in reality the 5 quarters is worth more than all the rest. Realistically speaking, money can have whatever value you’d like it to have, but what you can barter with it is what counts.

• Lastly, learn about managing it with wisdom. If you haven’t heard about budgeting, investing, and saving, I’d recommend doing some research (read the book Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey). While they have classes and books for days, the principles are all the same: budgeting, comparing income to expenses and working a plan to offset one or the other; saving, fore planning to offset your budget; and investing, fore planning your saving for your future budget in which the expenses outweigh the income. I would add the MOST important step, that is rarely talked about: giving. This is a concept we’ll discuss later this week. 

Once you learn the basic steps, you’ll just have to work the program to do your part of this God equation. 

Having your mindset tuned for positive money view and money management is a must! Always see God as the provider of all things: good, bad, indifferent. Always remember he is the author of your life, which he has guaranteed is in your favor if you love him. Always seek to be obedient concerning every place you spend your money: where you live, where and what you eat, what you drive, what job to get, what hobbies to have, what daycare center to choose, etc. 

As we go throughout this week, keep in mind these simple things. They will help to inform you on your frame of mind as it relates to your hindrances with money. So excited to share with you our first hindrance of the week tomorrow! See you over on our IG page. 

Resources for Relationship Hindrances

Hello All,

Here are a list of resources to help continue the relationship hindrances conversation on your own. This is not a topic that I particularly care for. To be quite frank, it’s the area in my life that I struggle the most. So I look to many different resources, including wise counsel, for direction. So most of these resources were given to me. I haven’t gotten through all of them, but my counsel highly recommends.

For the married:

The entire book of Songs of Solomon!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Song%20of%20Songs%201&version=NIV

Specifically for the singles:

While really cringe worthy the points in this video still are good:

I had some feelings about these books. The points made are Biblically based and indeed valid.

WIth that being said, I’m so excited for us to continue our hindrance series with the last week: Financial/Occupational hindrances. This is one of my favorite topics, and can’t wait to share my story and how I’m overcoming my hindrances.

3 Ways to Build/Repair your Relationship with Yourself

As we’ve discussed the hindrances in relationships, I’ve noted that these hindrances are a direct response to our relationships with ourselves. If you have any of these hindrances, fixing yourself is no easy deal. Here I’ll give 3 ways to strengthen your relationship with yourself and mend yourself to in turn mend your relationship with others.

1. Know your wants and desires.

I talk about this on a regular basis. While it may seem cliche, knowing yourself and what you need is going to set a precedent as to how you will respond to others. For example, I don’t consider myself a needy person, but I do require respect and affection. Knowing this about myself, if I don’t respect myself and don’t take care of myself to the upmost, no one in any of my relationships will do the same. Nothing will ever be enough. Once you know what you want and desire in yourself, you can meet those wants and desires for yourself. Thus, allowing a freedom in your relationships for them to be dual serving. 

2. Love ALL of yourself: OWN your crap!

The Lord gives two basic commands, love the Lord and love your neighbor as yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else! Loving yourself requires for you to love even the undesirable parts of yourself. You are going to have to face the reality that you need to own your CRAP! ALL OF IT! If you’re a liar, own it. If you’re a cheater, own it. If you’re selfish, own it. No one is perfect, knowing your weaknesses is the best possible way for you to grow. No one’s inner workings are pretty and that’s facts. Regardless of if you can love you, God loves you, even in your imperfection. But if you can love you in your filth, someone else can.

3. Keep God first. He’s the only one who can change you.

In knowing yourself and loving yourself, there are inevitable things you’d like to change about yourself. God’s power is made perfect in your weakness. Rather than fixating on your short comings, allow the Lord to grow you to where He needs you to be. Don’t fixate on your situation or someone else, but rather what you can do to change you: change your perspective and let God lead! 

While these tips seem inspirational, the point of me sharing this is for you to do the work. The tips don’t help, if you don’t do the work. In doing the work, I’d like to reiterate that this process is not the easiest. It is actually pretty hard. But once you work through it, you’ll be proud of the person you’ve become and how your relationships change as a reflection of you changing. 

Summary of the week!

This past week we focused on the hindrances we have in our physical wellness and how to overcome them to push forward our growth. Here’s a recap of the posts from the week!

When I bought these jeans, they were my “bloated” jeans. Those jeans that came out once a month to cover the extra fluff. Then one day I looked up and realized they fit so snug I was busting out like biscuits, until they looked like they do here. From personal hygiene, exercise, to food, your physical health is just as important to your overall wellness as your spiritual principles. More than fitting into the jeans, lax physical wellness can lead to depression, anxiety, and lack of motivation. What hinders your physical wellness? Is it lack of sleep, not knowing what to do in the gym, or not knowing how to cook? This week we are talking about hindrances to physical health, and how to overcome some of these hurtles to reach our physical wellness goals.#bustedlikeacanofbiscuits#wellness #wellnessjourney#blackgirlwellness #blackgirlblogger#physicalwellness #physicalwellbeing#mindbodysoul #consistencychallenge#consistencypays

#wellnesswednesdayOne of my physical hindrances is SAD (seasonal affective disorder) or the rainy day blues. While experienced in different ways, I have to work on gloomy days to stay motivated to be active. I just want to sleep. To overcome this, I go out for at least 30 min of sunlight a day. Even on rainy days, sitting in front of the window or taking a walk between showers, every bit of sunlight counts.
See how I make time in my busy schedule to get time outside #ontheblog Link in Bio. #physicalwellness #physicalwellbeing#afrogirlfitnesss #blackgirlfitness#mindbodysoul #fitness#makingtimeforfitness

Growing up with a chef for my dad, I learned early how to prepare delicious and balanced meals. However, being a picky eater, once I find something I like, I tend to binge eat.🥴 Especially on quarantine, I’m struggling to not eat all my snacks. So to keep myself from overeating, I’ve been tracking my consumption using a calorie/macro counter. There are many on the market. But I use @myfitnesspalto keep track of every food and drink I consume throughout the day.
How are y’all keeping track of your eating habits to fight the #quarantine15? And do you find yourself leaning towards overeating or undereating? #physicalwellness #physicalwellbeing#afrogirlfitnesss #blackgirlfitness#mindbodysoul #nutrition#blackgirlnutrition #stopbingeeating#fitness #makingtimeforfitness#consistencychallenge#consistencypays

Also check out our blog posts that added to conversation by explaining what a day in my life looked like, what I eat, and what my secrets are to losing weight and keeping it off!

So excited to share what I have for next week with you all!

3 Secrets to Lose Weight and KEEP IT OFF! -- How to get healthy and stay healthy?

The last physical hindrance to speak on this week is how to revamp your physical health journey. Specifically ways for you to have a healthier life and being intentional about your health. The 3 ways to do this are to know your reasons for why you haven’t started, building a plan to specifically address these reasons, and executing the plan. 

• Know what’s holding you back. 

Most people have a basic understanding of healthy living: you have to eat fruits and vegetables and workout. Very few people know exactly what will work for their health, and specifically why they don’t take advantage of those skills. Take a quick dive into who you are from an overseers prospective. Do you have fear of failure? Gym intimidation? No time? No idea what to do or where to start? Knowing why you don’t do what you should and building solutions to combat this will set you up for success.

• Build a Plan that addresses your hindrances.

Once you know what holds you back you can then build a strategic plan to push you toward where you want to be. To build a plan you need to: 

Evaluate the problem: If you did step 1, you’ve done this!

Set a goal!

Knowing you want to be healthy is one thing, but what does that look like for you? Do you want to eat better, take your medication regularly, practice better hygiene habits, lose weight, gain weight, run a marathon, etc? 

Learn what works best for you.

Once you have a goal, you can do some research about meeting the goal and what will work for you.  If you want to run a marathon, but you aren’t the most athletic, you want to probably start with walking. Whereas if you already are running a few miles a day, you would start by gradually running a little longer. Either way, doing some basic research about your goal and different ways people achieved it will give context to your journey. 

Become knowledgeable on how to scale what works for you and build systems to those incorporate steps.

Having a goal is great. Meeting it is even better. Changing your lifestyle completely is key! Becoming healthier is more than running the marathon, even if that is a goal. Becoming healthier is building change for a lifetime. To do this, you have to scale your goals to build systems that will change your life. 

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, the lifestyle change happens when you implement weekly running schedules and increase distance and time based on your desired result and recovery. Another example is losing weight. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you would build both an eating and exercise schedule that gets you to your goals, but will be easy for you to follow forever. You would build in contingency plans for holidays and special occasions to keep you on track. 

• Execute!

The final step is to execute your plan. Executing includes enacting your steps and reevaluating periodically (I say every time you meet a goal) to make sure you’re still on track. 

With these 3 very simple steps you’ll be on your way to becoming your healthier self almost immediately. While this is a generalized group of steps, this process works for all areas of physical wellness and produces lasting results. 

Easy Fried Rice Recipe

Hello All! So one of the biggest problems I hear from people about their physical wellness journey is they don’t know how and what to cook to reach their goals. To solve this, I’m offering a basic recipe that is a staple in my diet that is not only delicious, filling, and nutritious, but also inexpensive and easy to modify to meet specific dietary restrictions. 

In quarantine, I’m staying with my parents. So I don’t have all the basics that I would keep in my pantry. Even so, I can whip up this quick fried rice with some pantry staples. While not the most authentic, it is indeed tasty. 

Also here are a few tips to turn this dish into a nutrition packed meal. While I can eat this as a meal, I would recommend adding more protein to the dish by adding your favorite protein of choice to the fried rice. If you add cooked steak, it makes beef fried rice. If you add tofu scramble or pan seared vegetarian protein, it makes a great vegan/vegetarian option. You can make it keto by adding more protein, omitting the corn, and using cauliflower rice as an alternative. It can be gluten free by adding tamari instead of soy sauce. To make it oil free steam the dish by dropping a few drops of water. My favorite way to modify is by going the keto route and adding some chopped vegetarian protein, like Quorn. This modification lowers the caloric intake of the dish, but keeps me full until my next serving. 

For the tools you’ll need, I used a wok, but you can use a regular skillet, just make sure that you don’t overcrowd your pan. You want to have enough space to be able to create a crater for all of your additional ingredients, as you’ll see in the photos. You’ll also need a small bowl and fork for your eggs and a spoon to mix everything together.

For cooking it up, I recommend cutting all of your ingredients into similar sized pieces before you turn on the stove. You can also augment this by adding almost any leafy green vegetable, mushroom, broccoli, etc. you want to get rid of. The beauty of the recipe is you can add more or less veggie depending on what you have and need.

Here you can see I have both white rice and cauliflower rice. I like to use cold rice and frozen cauliflower rice for the best results. If you are using warm rice, it will be a bit mushy, but good nonetheless. Also you can use any kind of rice you like for example brown rice, short grain, long grain, and cauliflower rice have all worked well for me. If you are looking to add a protein source cook your protein first and set aside. Use the residual rendered fats, seasonings, and flavors to season your fried rice in the pan.

Next, since I used fresh carrots, I need to brown off my carrots to start the caramelization process. If you use a mixed veggie mix, you don’t have to do this.

After slightly brown, I remove the carrots and heat the pan to a medium-high heat. Once slightly smokey, I add 1 tbsp of oil and add the rice. I pan fry the rice until heated through. Then I create a crater and add my onion to the pan.

Once my onion is translucent I stir it in with the rice and create another crater moving the rice to the edges of the pan. I then add all of my firmer vegetables. If you’re adding leafy greens like cabbage or kale, don’t add these at this point.

Stir in vegetables. Then add the soy sauce. In a separate bowl, crack, season, and scramble the egg.  After heating through and the vegetables become bright, create another crater and add the egg in.

I then let my egg sit until golden brown on the bottom, this creates larger egg chunks in the rice. If you’d like the egg evenly distributed, mix thoroughly while the egg is runny. At this point I season with crushed red pepper, garlic, and onion. Once golden brown, I mix the egg into the rice and let the rice brown until my desired “hardness”. This will depend on how fried you like your rice and your vegetables. At this point, if you have leafy green vegetables, add them here so they can wilt quickly, but still have some texture. Lastly, salt and pepper to taste. You can also garnish with sriracha, parsley, and additional soy sauce.

How Do I Make Time for Physical Wellness as a Grad Student, Blogger, and Entrepeneur?

Hello Everyone! As a bonus this week, I wanted to show how I overcome time constraints and busy schedules to consciously improve my physical wellness. In today’s vlog, you’ll see my basic method of physical wellness consistency. I hope it encourages you to overcome time constraints yourself.

Happy Mother's Day

After going through my 23 year of life, this Mother’s Day hits different. I am old enough to grasp context. When you told me the story about being 22, married, and never wanting kids, and shortly after finding out you were pregnant, I had fact, but not context. When you chose to keep your pregnancy, and not abort me, I had fact not context. When you saw me and even still decided you not only wanted me, but loved me, I had fact not context. Now at 24, I pray for the capacity to one day be half as much mother as you. After feeling like I was going to lose my life in the same (age) year you gave me life, context showed me that I’m still YOUR baby. I can’t imagine being a mother now. I wouldn’t dream of giving up the world I’m building to do so. I’m just not ready.  

On this Mother’s Day, with my context I honor you.

I honor your decision to keep me.

I honor your decision for always staying. 

I honor your decision to love me, even when I go astray. I honor your for your direction. 

I honor you for your protection.

I honor you for your love, even though I share it a bunch.

I honor you for your value. I honor you for your prayers.

I honor you for your example, and never pushing me away.

Thank you for listening to my questions, and always providing me answers.

Thank you for the good times, and teaching resiliency in the bad.

Thank you for your witness, and always loving my dad.

Thank you for choosing to fight, so we had a chance to “do this right”.

Thank you for teaching me specifically how to LIVE MY LIFE. 

 For as long as I live, I pray the Lord ensures I never get my own face. I pray that he instills in me to be even half as amazing a mother as you one day. I love you.

My Journey Growing through Church Hurt

Hello Everyone,

Today's video is all about growing through church hurt for the purpose of improving spiritual wellness. In this video, I'm talking about my journey growing up in church and some of the spiritual growth lessons I've learned as I'm healing from a lifetime of church hurt. I hope this video encourages some of you in your healing process, and motivates you to use your church hurt as a catalyst for your personal growth.

8 Tools to Grow through Church Hurt

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been praying and studying specifically on the hinderances that I face within my own growth. When evaluating my spiritual growth, it’s simple to identify what I’ve overcome. But it’s difficult to share the things that I haven’t conquered and even harder to find solutions.

With this, church hurt is a huge hurtle in my growth journey. While I will speak more on my experiences on Saturday’s post, I often struggle to overcome thoughts of discouragement, lack of trust in community, lack of trust in leadership and authority, as well as feelings of disdain and disgust towards the American church. After years of wrestling with this hurt, I have come to see my part to play in the disconnect between the local church and myself. As a believer in Jesus who is aware of the divisive scheme of the enemy, I am guilty of relishing in my hurt and not growing THROUGH my circumstance. As I’m still growing and learning, I saw it fit to invite my mom to be a guest writer on the blog today, as she encourages us all on how to grow through church hurt and allow it produce growth within us. Enjoy. 

Do not repay anyone evil for evil?  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.   If it is possible, as far as it DEPENDS on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:17-18

For many of us, we have been hurt in the church.  Be it, back stabbing, someone lying/gossiping about you or someone telling you that you are not bearing fruit.  What ever it may be, it is your duty to continue to serve our Lord and Savior.  Yes, you can be mad even angry but don’t let that keep you away.  True story, when I was hurt in the church, I was pissed (can I say that without getting thrown out of the church).  I was so upset to the point that I no longer wanted to be a part of a church, let alone mingle with church folk.  After about two weeks, I was awaken by the Holy Spirit.  The Lord, begin to minister to me.  So, here are a few nuggets that I have used not only to overcome church hurt, but hurt from other people.

1. Redirect your hurt

Take the same energy you have/had of replaying the incidents over and over in your head and put it towards knowing our Lord better.  How does that look?  Intentionally getting before the Lord.  If you already don’t have an established  a quiet time, establish one.  During this time, read His word, pray, ask questions of him, listen, and worship.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.  With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken (Psalms 16:8 NIV)

2. Reconcile/Confront

After you have had time to calm down and seek the Lord.  I would suggest that you go to the individual and share your heart. Reconcile your differences. Do you have to agree? NO, but you do have to walk in the ministry of reconciliation.

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18 NIV)

3. Grace

Extend to the individual(s) the same grace that Christ has extended to you.  

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23 NIV)

Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight.  He did this through Christ Jesus when he free us from the penalty for our sins (Romans 3:24 NLT)

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16 NIV)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love (Ephesians 4:2 NLT)

4. Forgive

Yes, you have to forgive to move forward.  Not just through lip service, but in your heart.  If you are anything like me, this may take some time.  However, when the situation tries to creep up in our mind (and it will because you have decided to handle the situation the way God would like you to), turn that negativity into positivity.  Tell yourself, better yet say it out loud something like, “I will not dwell on this situation, my God has equipped me to fully forgive and love.” I know that all things work together for the good to those who love and are called by Christ.  Also, check yourself by reminding yourself that you have messed up and will continue to mess up and you would like folks to forgive you.  Remember forgiveness is for YOU.  You want to walk in your freedom, right.  

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you MUST forgive others (Colossians 3:13 NLT)

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, jus as Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

5. Responsibility 

Take responsibility for your part. Did you misunderstand the situation; did you retaliate; did you speak out of anger; hold a grudge; never communicate your feelings etc?  I can go on and on, but you get my point.  There are two sides to every story with two different perspectives.  And yes, we will always be right in our own eyes, but it is not about being right.  Its about keeping peace amongst one another.  We have to live in a kingdom mindset, not a “me” mindset.

For we are responsible for our OWN conduct (Galatians 6:5 NLT)

Whoever sows to please their flesh from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirt will reap eternal life (Galatians 6:8 NIV)

6. Restored

Be restored by His word.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a WILLING spirit, to sustain me (Psalms 51:12)

Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you (2 Corinthians 13:11 NLT)

7. Pray

Pray for the individual/church that has hurt you.  I promise this is part of the healing process.  I would also encourage you to not be selfish.  Don’t pray ill will.  Pray for God to bless them.  Don’t allow your hurt to get in the way of your healing?

Confess your sins to each other and PRAY for each other so that you may be HEALED.  The earnest prayer of the righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results (James 5:16)

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up (Romans 14:19)

But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life.  In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love (Jude 1:20 NLT)

8. Walk in your God given gift

For God’s gifts and His call can never be withdrawn (Romans 11:29 NLT)

My prayer is that you fully heal from church hurt and not allow it to hinder your growth any longer.  Move forward, In the name of Jesus!  Walk out your God given purpose, utilize your giftings, build the kingdom of God.  Find you a body of believers who love God and want to see his kingdom grow. I leave you with these last bible verses:

“Don’t repay evil for evil.  Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.  That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessings.  For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.  Turn away from evil and do good.  Search for peace, and work to maintain it.  THE EYES OF THE LORD WATCH OVER THOSE WHO DO RIGHT, AND HIS EARS ARE OPEN TO THEIR PRAYERS. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:9-12 NLT)

Are you caught up with our Instagram feed?

What if I told you that I maintained this body for 3 weeks without working out? Well, it's true! Learn how to cook beyond chicken alfredo to keep your body right, tight, and ready to go in 5 easy steps. Link in Bio. #healthy #healthyfood #healthyrecipes #foodporn #blessedlife #greatful #midyearmotivation #selfcare #growingup #blackgirlwellness #blackgirlbloggers #wellnessworld #wellness #wellnessbalanced #wellnessday #bloggerstyle #blackgirl #BlackGirlBlogging #blackgirlblog #blackwellness #wellnessjourney #mindbodyspirit #mindbodysoul

I’m working to no longer look at food as good and bad. I try to see it for the nutrients it can give. This is why I can eat a brownie with a bowl of stir fry without feeling any sort of way about it. Tomorrow on the blog, I’ll be sharing how I put together my meals to ensure I can enjoy eating and still meet my physical goals. #blackandblessed #foodporn #blessedlife #greatful #midyearmotivation #selfcare #growingup #maturity #maturityquotes #blackgirlwellness #blackgirlbloggers #wellnessworld #wellnessaddict #wellness #wellnessbalanced #wellnessday #bloggerstyle #blackgirl #BlackGirlBlogging #blackgirlblog #blackwellness #wellnessjourney #mindbodyspirit #mindbodysoul

I have always been the black girl in awkward spaces. If I'm too ethnic, loud, or "suspicious", I'm at risk of harassment, stalking, and death. If I'm too articulate, educated, or wealthy, I'm ostracized from my community AND at risk of harassment, stalking, and death. While I don't have all the answers to the many problems with this, today on the blog, I discuss one of those awkward spaces. “Which takes precedence in life: black identity or Christ?” Link in Bio. #blackandblessed #blessed #livelikeyouknow #blessedlife #greatful#midyearmotivation #selfcare #growingup #maturity #maturityquotes #blackgirlwellness #blackgirlbloggers #wellnessworld #wellnessaddict #wellness #wellnessbalanced #wellnessday #bloggerstyle #blackgirl #BlackGirlBlogging #blackgirlblog #blackwellness #wellnessjourney #mindbodyspirit #mindbodysoul

"'Which takes precedence in life: black identity or Christ?' Well, to see me, you must accept me in both my blessing and blackness." Link in Bio. #blackandblessed #blessed #livelikeyouknow #blessedlife #greatful #midyearmotivation #selfcare #growingup #maturity #maturityquotes #blackgirlwellness #blackgirlbloggers #wellnessworld #wellnessaddict #wellness #wellnessbalanced #wellnessday #bloggerstyle #blackgirl #BlackGirlBlogging #blackgirlblog #blackwellness #wellnessjourney #mindbodyspirit #mindbodysoul

Don't Just Start your Spiritual Journey, Exercise Spiritual Maturity to Propel your Wellness

Hello Everyone! On the blog this week we have been focusing on how to start a spiritual journey to ultimately impact our wellness journeys. I this video, you will find a synopsis of how to start your spiritual journey, how to mature in your spirituality, and how to know when you're growing.

If you're interested in an in-depth view of how to start your spiritual journey, check out the full blog post here where I give a roadmap for where to begin: http://www.kandidkayla.com/blog/2020/4/30/starting-your-spiritual-journey-to-continue-your-wellness-journey

Also, if you're interested in skimming through the video, here is a table of contents for all of the information:

1:00 Summary of starting your spiritual journey

2:26 How to mature?

9:23 Measuring/Benchmarking Maturity

I hope this video really helps you all on your journey! Stay tuned for next week, where we'll be talking about how to overcome hinderances to your spiritual growth.

kandidkayla.com/blog

Starting Your Spiritual Journey to Continue your Wellness Journey

While I’ve been told in the past it’s what holds me back, my spirituality has always been a staple to my life. Not to discredit my parents’ teaching, my spirituality has long been very individualized to the point of dragging my parents to the church house during some seasons. With its significance, it is assumed that my faith would ground my wellness. While I understand my journey is not the norm, everyone’s biases are rooted in their fundamental beliefs. Whether instilled by our parents or experienced for ourselves, there comes a time at which we must define our spiritual foundations and use them as the guidance for our life decisions. In the context of wellness, all facets of wellness are interconnected, so what you believe will determine what you consider to be well. Ultimately the spiritual foundation is what marks the standard. 

Starting A Spiritual Journey

To start your spiritual journey you need to determine, with full clarity, what it is exactly that you believe. As is the theme in wellness, it takes some soul searching to do this. I am a Christian, for which I believe in God coming in human form by way of a man named Jesus (Emmanuel). This man then was willingly murdered for the atonement of my sins and rose from the dead three days later, only to later ascend back to His position in heaven leaving the Holy Spirit, the unseen ever present help, behind until Jesus’ return to take me to heaven. For you, this may not be what you believe, for which is acceptable, so long as you are clear and definitive on what and why you believe. The most important things to note when understanding and establishing faith basics are 1) on a basic level what do you believe (ex. The sky is blue) 2) how does that affect who you are and your decision making (ex. The sky will always be blue, so I don’t have to worry about it being green) 3) for where do you garner hope (ex. As long as the sky is blue, I can have hope for future blue skies). 

Once you’ve determined what it is you believe, what are the most important aspects of what you believe with relation to your part in your faith? For me, believing in Jesus’ death and resurrection, I find it important that He has all power; all knowledge; and is personally invested in who I am. These principles allow me to focus on the relationship aspect of my faith, and my part in the relationship.

Secondly, you can choose to incorporate this mindset into who you are and your decision making. Since I believe in Jesus’ power, knowledge, and investment in me, I can go without worry daily and make decisions knowing that if He told me to do it, I’m going to succeed. 

Lastly, even if not a definitive answer, knowing explicitly for why you live and for what you can have hope for in trying times. I live knowing that God has destined my life for a specific purpose, as a part of his master plan. In hard times, I remember that the same person who forged the stars and animals knows me by name for which He wrote my plan— good, bad, and ugly— for his ultimate glory. 

So, in starting your spiritual journey and applying such principles to your wellness, you just have to make a daily effort for your belief principles to be important. From the view of my relationship with God, I just chose to start. I said a prayer, declaring that God was Jesus and vice versa, that I believe He died and resurrected, and that He did so for the forgiveness of my instinctive wrongful nature. The day after, I started my journey, and everyday I do the same. I make my spiritual principles important that day. 

In my relationship, such is the same in any relationship, communication (to include talking and listening) is key. I cannot expect to know someone I never talk to, so I pray in an effort to speak to Him. In the same way, I hear from Him best when reading and studying my Bible, so I make significant time for that as well. Similarly, on any spiritual journey, as you grow and change it’s important to keep reevaluating your beliefs and making yourself knowledgeable. For me, that comes in the form of challenging my principles, reading my Bible, and researching anything I don’t understand. This brings about clarity and establishes self thought. While there is no single cut and dry way to a spiritual journey, ultimately making it a priority is what allows you to build goals and systems around it. As you walk your spiritual journey, there should be some maturity that takes place within yourself. This maturity will be what helps to propel your wellness maturity. Come back to hear what I have to share about wellness maturity during my blog post on Saturday.

If you would like to know more about Christianity and salvation please see the attached link: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2010:8-10&version=NIV

Methods to Set up Systems of Wellness

Hello Everyone!

I close out our discussion about systems of wellness, I found the following links particularly helpful. These resources give examples for which you can go from a goal minded form of wellness to a systems minded daily ideal of wellness.

To accompany these videos, I’ve uploaded a podcast style video about my journey with creating systems of wellness and some examples of systems that you may be able to change and adapt for your life.