As we’ve discussed the hindrances in relationships, I’ve noted that these hindrances are a direct response to our relationships with ourselves. If you have any of these hindrances, fixing yourself is no easy deal. Here I’ll give 3 ways to strengthen your relationship with yourself and mend yourself to in turn mend your relationship with others.

Know your wants and desires.

I talk about this on a regular basis. While it may seem cliche, knowing yourself and what you need is going to set a precedent as to how you will respond to others. For example, I don’t consider myself a needy person, but I do require respect and affection. Knowing this about myself, if I don’t respect myself and don’t take care of myself to the upmost, no one in any of my relationships will do the same. Nothing will ever be enough. Once you know what you want and desire in yourself, you can meet those wants and desires for yourself. Thus, allowing a freedom in your relationships for them to be dual serving.

2. Love ALL of yourself: OWN your crap!

The Lord gives two basic commands, love the Lord and love your neighbor as yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else! Loving yourself requires for you to love even the undesirable parts of yourself. You are going to have to face the reality that you need to own your CRAP! ALL OF IT! If you’re a liar, own it. If you’re a cheater, own it. If you’re selfish, own it. No one is perfect, knowing your weaknesses is the best possible way for you to grow. No one’s inner workings are pretty and that’s facts. Regardless of if you can love you, God loves you, even in your imperfection. But if you can love you in your filth, someone else can.

3. Keep God first. He’s the only one who can change you.

In knowing yourself and loving yourself, there are inevitable things you’d like to change about yourself. God’s power is made perfect in your weakness. Rather than fixating on your short comings, allow the Lord to grow you to where He needs you to be. Don’t fixate on your situation or someone else, but rather what you can do to change you: change your perspective and let God lead!

While these tips seem inspirational, the point of me sharing this is for you to do the work. The tips don’t help, if you don’t do the work. In doing the work, I’d like to reiterate that this process is not the easiest. It is actually pretty hard. But once you work through it, you’ll be proud of the person you’ve become and how your relationships change as a reflection of you changing.