Today's post is a bit of a different one. Attached above is an old video of 19-year-old Mi'Kayla spitting some facts. I discuss how to be happy when you're single. I wanted to clear a few things up.

Being happy is not just a single problem; it's a life problem. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, happiness is not guaranteed, only joy is. With this, I have been striving for happiness for years. Through this method, and revamping the method over time based on my life changes, I have found happiness even in times of stress, depression, and anxiety.

In the video, I discuss that you should investigate 4 valuable questions: who are you? who do you want to be? what makes you happy? what do you want in a companion?

While I emphasize the first 3 questions in the video, I've come to realize that the last question is very valuable as well. If you are in a space where you are looking to marry, you need to know what you want so that you don't settle for less. At 19, this question wasn't important for me to answer. At 24, it is. Honestly, had I answered it better at 19, I wouldn't have gone through as much as I went through in college relationally.

Even if you have a spouse, knowing what kind of people you want in your space is valuable. So many times we have "friends" in our space that don't serve us and offer traits that lead to the depletion of our happiness. Knowing what character traits are beneficial and harmful to you will help you deal with stressors caused by others.

I also want to clarify that I don't believe God has us in single seasons for a reason. At least, I don't believe it in the context I discuss in the video. I will get to this on another post one day. But I whole-heartedly know that if someone wants to be married, they can be. You don't have to wait for God's timing. A lot of people don't. Note: I don’t ever recommend stepping out of God’s perfect will.

Lastly, being happy in any season is achievable with the first three steps. You have to want it for yourself. This goes back to building a wellness plan. A wellness plan will answer all of these questions and give insight to the intricacies of why certain things make you happy as you build/grow it.

This is not to say that every day you will be happy if you follow these steps because mental illness and circumstantial influences exist. BUT you are more likely to recover from stressors and find your happiness if you follow these steps.