Albeit cliche, loving all of yourself is VITAL to all areas of wellness especially in relationships. Through therapy and self-reflection, self dissection of self-love needs can be assessed. I have entire videos dedicated to my journey through learning to love myself.

But what happens when you get to the things that you don’t like. More specifically, how do you love the insecurities?

Transparency moment, recently, my insecurities have been on high alert. Most of my insecurities stem from my social anxiety and trust issues. With us being quarantined, I’m increasingly insecure as I’m getting less practice overcoming this anxiety. Nonetheless, I’ve come to realize that I cannot fix/work my insecurities away.

So to love my insecurities I’ve investigated: Who is responsible for those insecurities? (In relationships, this is a loaded question.) What happens when I try to resolve it, but the insecurity is still there? What happens if the Lord has me wrestle with it some?

I don’t necessarily have those answers. I don’t think the question should be what is to blame or even how to resolve insecurity. The question is am I willing to allow the Lord to work through them.

So how do I respond to insecurities? Can I allow God to use my insecurities?

Frankly speaking, if the Lord can use a donkey, how much more can he use me? If He can use a murderer, how much more could he use my skeptical heart? If he used a leper, how much more will he use my social anxiety?

My immediate response to insecurity is anger. This goes back to my struggle with perfection. Think about it, a chink in your armor is just a flaw. Insecurity comes from that flaw being consistently exposed. It’s hard for me to deal with the reality that I cannot in my strength overcome these discomforts.

While I have not mastered acceptable responses to insecurity, biblically there are three acceptable response:

So, instead of fighting it, will I allow God to use my insecurity? He already has. There is purpose in my social anxiety. There is validity in the feelings my insecurities provide. The Bible calls for us to be angry, but not to sin. In this, I can get angry about my insecurities, as long as I don’t sin. Similarly, my social anxiety keeps my heart guarded and makes me cautious about the company I keep. I am also more likely to see the world from an outside perspective because I am slower to speak and always listening.

I have come to love these parts of myself. I love that I’m not an extrovert and that I can typically bring calm when I step into a room. I have grown to love that I’m not invited to every space, but that I’m loved in the spaces I’m in.

I wouldn’t have these loves without my insecurities. The obsession with insecurity causes low self-esteem. The dismissal of insecurity causes internal discourse. So I’m not focusing on my insecurities and how they make me feel anymore. I’m going to acknowledge them and allow God to use them for His glory. This new found love will continually mature and strengthen me.