Contrary to today, when I was young, I was an extravert. Through life, as a result of school, church, and other social experiences, I’ve become so reserved, to the point of identifying strongly with the mute. From this, when I was about 18, I came to a place where I needed to find my voice again. Even after finding my voice, though, I was criticized so harshly for using it that I now have to overcome the anxiety of vulnerability and find value in my voice daily. This blog was my original fix for attempting to overcome this constant tension. As I’ve stated before, I took about a 4-year break from this platform to refine this solution. Nonetheless, I can say with certainty, as of today, it is not natural for me to share anything with anyone ever (not with my family, not on this blog, not with a partner, not at all!). But I continue to do so as an act of obedience because God has specifically told me that there is value in my voice, so I need to use it.

But how exactly do I overcome vulnerability and find value in my voice?

The Bible says to be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19). For those of us who struggle to speak, though, the problem is not in being slow to speak, but in being open to sharing. There are specific times that the Bible calls us to speak. Aside from these times, we are still required to be in fellowship and build a relationship with others. To do these things, we must be open to sharing the value in our voice (Rev. 12:11).

Have you ever noticed that the words of the chatterbox are never heard as impactful as the select words of the quiet? I don’t think this is a coincidence, either. Biblically speaking, for someone like Moses, there was an emphasis on his speaking, because of both his obedience and his word choices. With or without his stutter, there was purpose in Moses’ perspective.

The first part of this struggle is overcoming the anxiety of vulnerability. The Bible says to cast all of your anxieties on the Lord. The Bible also promises unfathomable peace that only comes from this surrender of our anxieties. In the same way, don’t allow the fear of vulnerability to mute you. I’ve grown to know that my voice is a part of my calling. Regardless of how naked I feel in sharing, I cannot allow fear to fight my future.

The second part of this struggle is finding your voice. You cannot find value without finding your voice first. This process is different for everyone. There is no one size fits all; however, again, from the life of Moses, there is a level of identity that naturally comes to your voice as you’re obedient with God in using it. At the beginning of Moses’ journey to his call, he was insecure with his voice. As time persisted, the Lord called him, and he gained Aaron to be his mouthpiece. Even in this, through his obedience, Moses, the mouthpiece and messenger of God at this moment, was learning how to overcome his vulnerability and speak. By the time it came for Moses to receive the 10 commandments, thankfully he had found his voice because Aaron was tripping (When Moses went on the mountain to get the 10 commandments, Aaron both facilitated and encouraged the worshipping of idols). I can’t say that the maturity of Moses’ voice was from time, trial, or trail (his journey). I can say without a shadow of a doubt, it came from obedience. In the same way, we all can develop our voice and the boldness often required to exercise it from positioning ourselves with a posture of obedience.

The last part of this is finding value in your voice despite vulnerability. I have a mixed relationship with my voice. I have gone through seasons of chatter, seasons of being mute, and seasons of being hurtfully honest with my voice. In every season, though, whether right or wrong, there is value in your voice (God can use all things). Until recently, this was a fallacy to me. Contingent upon the first two points being true, God may call you to any of these seasons. From this, there is intentionality in anything you choose to say. Sometimes, it may take a two-hour conversation for someone to gleam 1 nugget that will change their life. During other times, silence is more impactful than words. In most cases, the truth even said gracefully, is painful, but necessary. So regardless of the season, there is value in your voice.