So yearly, I tend to do reflections of the previous year and projections for the following year. Last year, I did not do this. I didn’t go into 2017 reflecting on what I’d like to change in or how I planned to progress. I low key regret this. Nonetheless, I’m doing a reflection and projection this year.

So in short, this year was really rough. As a country, 2017 was rough, but as an African-American woman it was arguably worse. Not to give him any credit, but the devil was busy. I had a ton of highs: I graduated college with no debt and multiple degrees. I was accepted into VCU’s PhD program in Chemistry. I’ve met so many good friends and family and even rekindled some old friendships. I’ve, so far, lost and kept off 13lbs, and counting. And I’ve had a ton of personal achievements that I hadn’t been able to meet before. However, with every high, there were some caveats. Emotionally, I struggled bad. Only those closest to me really understand, but I’ve spent 90% of 2017 depressed. This year spiritually for me was all about trusting God blindly. I had to decide would I be willing to follow his direction, in the form of a still small voice, without any signs or understanding, just simple instruction, or would I form my own path. At the end of 2016, I prayed and told the Lord that I trusted him, wholeheartedly. What I didn’t know was that I was answering that previous paradox without understanding the ramifications that came with it. Trusting him blindly came with a lot of uncertainty. I had to be able to hear the small voice over the lies of my past, the lies in my present, and the lies spoken over my future. I had to hear it over my personal doubts, over the doubts of others, over the facts ahead of me, and the haters behind me. That is tough. In the thick of it, when you are overwhelmed by every voice besides that of the Lord, it feels a bit schizophrenic. I’m still walking through it, but I can say that I am more than a conqueror. I was told not to apply to grad school by a professor that was close to me. I was openly insulted once I was admitted, by someone who couldn’t believe I would have made it that far. I was haunted by the teachers of my youth who told me I wouldn’t make it in the real world. It seems trivial, but the words of others hurt. I finally had to address the lies that I chose to believe and allow God to use them as fuel to propel me. I can say that despite every lie, every doubt, every “concern”, God’s destiny for my life reigns supreme! Everything I’ve prayed and asked for has been given. Every milestone I set, so far has been reached. Despite me not having specific goals for the year, 2017 was my year of manifestation!

So with that being said, I don’t have a theme for 2018 quite yet. I don’t have an understanding of where God is taking me. I’m signing up again to be willing to trust and follow him blindly without foresight and understanding. I’m reflecting and understanding what I want to take from 2017 to step and continue to grow in 2018. I have goals I plan to achieve, which I won’t share for personal reasons, but I do plan to live by a simple understanding: Life is life, and God is the author of all. Regardless of time, distance, and space, He rules over ALL! Live for today, laugh about tomorrow, don’t worry about nothing. What will be will be, and what God has for me is for me. Laugh hard, laugh loud, laugh honestly! Cry hard, worry less, and mourn the loss of the disappointments.