Because of COVID-19, the racial issues dividing our congregations, and political issues dividing our homes, I want to end this conversation of adulting by discussing one of the most common plagues in adulthood: depression. Regardless of if we want to admit it or not, depression is a key indicator of so many different levels of mental illness and emotional instability.

This conversation is not only for Christians, but is geared towards them, as I see more Christians in the church struggling with depression than my unsaved friends "in the streets". The church is historically where the broken go to find healing, but there are more secret sinners than mourners receiving healing these days. We all want to judge people for their reasons for divorce, midlife crises, postpartum depression, and/or even PTSD, but all of these common adult challenges are related to depression in some way. And while I’m not here to judge the American church as a whole, mental illness is only recently been touched in Sunday service. Despite the recognition of it on our pews, we have to do more than telling people to pray it away.

Throughout my life, I've dealt with periods of depression. I always felt alone in these seasons. Not just because of the depression. There was always a church mother telling me to smile. Or my actual mother telling me to get over it (she's been educated on this now). Unfortunately, unless I was ever willing to commit suicide or harm myself, my depression was considered invalid by the church of needing any sort of aid, help, or care for besides praying it away.

I literally have heard pastors say that people are beyond the help of the church.

As someone who has finally come to a place of freedom, peace, and healing, I want to explain how exactly I got over my depression, and in what ways I feel we as a church community can come alongside those dealing with depression/depressed seasons to help them get their healing.

Keep praying and fasting. I’m not going to tell you that prayer doesn’t work. That would be a lie. Prayer changes things in the supernatural. Prayer facilitates a change in your perspective to match God's when you explain to Him how your reality feels and he downloads to you what is real. While we don’t have access to all the intricacies in the thoughts of God, prayer allows us to see what we need to.
Seek help. Everybody needs a therapist/counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist if necessary. There is no one way to get healing, but there is one way to not get healing: not talking about you’re going through. Your significant other, family members and friends are not your human punching bags and/ or target practice. Sort out your innermost feelings within yourself, with God, and with a therapist.
Be honest and transparent. This requires soul searching. Go into the depths of your heart. See what is it weighing on you. Oftentimes we think that it might be like a job or coworker. In actuality, it’s the unresolved childhood trauma and/or projection of your insecurities onto someone else. Once you know the true problem, be honest about how you truly feel. Be honest with yourself. Then share with God how you truly feel. Tell him how you feel about yourself with boldness. Tell Him how you feel about Him. Tell Him how you feel about the situation. Lastly, be honest with your therapist. This allows your therapist to give you guidance, reassurance, or affirmation. Because so many times we get in our way through self-manipulation, it's important to have transparency and honesty with your therapist. Lastly, be transparent with everything. This is what allows you to walk in your freedom.

Let’s be honest. When you’re doing all of these things, it’s not easy. It may not happen overnight. That was not my story. I had to work. I had to fight. I had to push through it all over again the next day and the next day and the next day. One day, I woke up, and I was free within myself. My good days outweighed my bad days. Again, I’m not telling you that it’s easy. It’s hard! That’s why so many people don’t fight. But you have hope, so you have to fight.

Understand that you have a weight, and you’re dealing with that weight. Just because you pray doesn’t mean that God‘s going to show up right away. We cannot act as though we can summon the God of the universe to do whatever we ask him to do as if he Santa Claus. We also cannot manipulate our way through. Like Paul, this may be the thorn in our side. Like David, this may be apart of our story. Like Jeremiah, this may be our reminder. I leave us all with Lamentations 3:22-24 which says,

"22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

Understand that when Jeremiah wrote this passage he was in agony. He was in pain. Honestly, it sounded like he was a little bit depressed. Yet and still, he understood that even in his prayer he could not make God change his circumstance. However, he did understand to whom his hope lied. We have to take our hope and put it in our back pocket. We have to make it change our lives in such a way that we put on our bootstraps every day and we go to war on behalf of our souls. We recognize the faithfulness of God. We recognize the love of God. We recognize the mercy of God in such a way that we have hope to make it to the next day.

Like I said it’s going to be hard, but today turns into tomorrow and tomorrow turns into the next day. You begin to see the mercies, miracles, and greatness of God for exactly what they are. That is the hope to get to the next day. Know that there is purpose in your pain in every moment. God is doing something good, so you have to find the good and focus on it.

As a Christian community, it's our job to tell our stories and offer our support. The Bible literally says that in the last days we will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Let's stop having testimonies exclusively reserved for financial, occupational, and familial blessings. Let's start sharing about how we feel. How the Lord took us from not being able to get out of bed. Because the battles many of us are facing are in our minds.

I often wondered how more encouraged I would have felt going through my depressed seasons if I had encouragement from my brothers and sisters. Because of this, I urge us all to share.

Lastly, in my sharing, I’ve seen what the Lord did for me. I know he can do it for you. I have liberty, clarity, justice, love, endurance, peace, and so much more. He's not one to discriminate. Every person is a child to him. Every soul is a life to him, so if he did it for me, He can very much so do it for you.

I go into greater detail in the attached video on parts of my story and specifically how each of the steps began to move me into the place that I am today. I reveal how God shaped my journey and has shaped my life through the steps. I hope it encourages you all.